Awkward As F*ck

It is 3:00am and I am not sure if this blog post is going to make any sense, but here goes…

I am AF.

Yes, those are my real initials. I am a female in my late 20s, and I live in Boston, MA.

However, no one gives a sh*t about that. That’s not going to help the number of views this blog gets (I am a digital marketer, so I care deeply about my blog metrics). What *might* engage readers are my deep, personal thoughts on surviving the social constructs that exist in our culture.

My Real Story

I am an introvert (an INFP if you are really curious). I love my alone time. I like reading, writing, listening to music, working out, playing with animals and sometimes hanging out with friends in small groups or one on one. Unlike a lot of the 20 something crowd, I do not enjoy binge drinking, crowded bars or sporting events, or even hanging out in a group that’s more than 4 people. Seriously, as soon as that 5th person joins, I get awkward. However, I recently developed this nervous habit where I pretend to be a social, talkative, outgoing, attention loving, human being. It is awkward as f*ck. I do a terrible job of pretending to be an extrovert. It feels like every time I open my mouth, I regret whatever came out of it. Do you ever want to just crawl in a hole and stay there forever to hide from your awkwardness? Because I do.

I am also dramatic. You’ll realize that more and more as you continue reading.

Some may already understand why I pretend to be an extrovert. If not, I’ll explain it to you:

We live in an extroverted-favored society. I’ve experienced this first-hand, and maybe you have as well. I’ve experienced it in many areas of my life. When it comes to making friends, dating, getting a job, keeping a job, extroverts seem to have it easier. That may not be the absolute truth, but it’s my truth. My future blog posts will address these struggles with the hope of giving myself and my readers a sense of clarity and confidence.

Why Blog?

I like to write, and it is nice to be understood. It is therapeutic for me to explain myself in writing. I also know that I am not alone. Struggling with “who you are” is a common issue. So, if you are interested, I welcome you to join me on this journey, wherever the hell it leads me. If you have any questions, thoughts, blog topics you would like me to address, please comment or reach out to me directly.

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